Friday, January 19, 2024

Déjà vu?

It's finally here. Green Day's album Saviors released today. I was so hyped for this album it was insane. And after listening to it in full, I'm even more hyped.

This week is driving me crazy. It's my first week back, the last semester of my senior year. I'm about to graduate in a few months, and I'm still trying to process what the fuck I'm doing. This week had me on edge counting down the days until this album's release. This morning, I woke up and hopped to my laptop to check Target to see if the copies were out. They definitely were, and there were only two left in stock! I grabbed my Target gift card I got for Christmas, and immediately purchased a copy. Flash forward a few hours later, I'm sitting in my chamber choir, wishing we were singing "Look Ma, No Brains!" or "Dilemma" instead of of Schubert's Mass No. 2 in G major. (Not saying I dislike that piece, far from it, but that was being overshadowed by my most anticipated album release of this year.)

After chamber choir let out, I flew out of my seat and downstairs and exited the music hall to where my friend was parked outside. We took off down the road, blasting Dookie and singing along. We parked, headed into the Target, and after a brief confusion on where I was supposed to pick my online order up, I got my album. We drove back to our apartment, and we listened to the whole thing, front to back. I love it. 

I deliberately avoided Green Day's Instagram accounts during this past week as I didn't want to hear any of the song snippets they were posting. I wanted to go into this one-eyed bastard blind. As much as I could, after hearing all the singles. It's so good though. If I didn't have terrible processing I'd be blasting it right now as I'm writing this. My favorite songs have to go to "Look Ma, No Brains!", "Dilemma", "1981" and "Coma City". (Tré goes fucking NUTS on the end of "Coma City.") 

So now that Saviors is out, it appears that the Father of All... era has ended. And it's given me quite a bit to think about. These two albums released a good four years apart from eachother, much like other Green Day releases in the past few years. 

When Father of All... came out back in early 2020, the world was a very different place. The pandemic hadn't effected us in the States yet, and I was looking into the future with hopeful eyes. It was my senior year of high school, and I was looking forward to graduation, and going off to college in Utah. It scary, sure, but I was excited. I had no idea what to expect, but just knowing that I had been accepted to college and was ready to hit the ground running in August made me feel happy. Even just writing that, I feel really strange. I couldn't possibly imagine feeling like that right now. Going back to Father of All... the album was, okay. Sure, when I heard it, it was rough. I wasn't crazy about it. But the energy was there. It was an album full of upbeat garage rock with lyrics that conveyed the "not giving a fuck" attitude I loved at the time. 

But then came the pandemic, and life pretty much did a 180. I was stuck home, trying to finish out my senior year online, bored out of my skull in my room. On top of that, my plans to fly out to Utah were completely scrapped, and instead I decided to go to college in Virginia. (That was ultimately the better option, I'm super happy here.) The plans I had were scrambled and there wasn't really a whole lot I could do about it outside of get it together and figure it out. And I did, looking back at freshman year, I'd say I did a pretty damn good job. 

These last four years have had their ups and downs for sure, especially in the first two years. But the energy and upbeat vibes that I heard on Father of All... didn't go away. Now, I'm not saying that Father of All... was a good album, it was ehhh, but it did grow on me. The positive energy stuck with me from graduating high school during an uncertain time, to making it through college pretty successfully. And overall, it was a fun time.

So here I am, it's one week closer to graduation and the first day of the rest of my life. And Saviors probably came at the best time. After listening to the first three singles, I was immediately hooked. I wanted more. And waiting all the way until late January to hear everything SUCKED. As I listened to the album and focused on the themes, I started to feel like it was a pretty strong contrast to everything on Father of All... Sure, the upbeat stuff was still there, but there was a darker air permeating throughout the record, and focusing on pretty dark themes. This album is way more dark and angry than anything off of Father of All... and really encapsulates the feelings I'm feeling now, just as Father of All... four years ago.

What I mean is, Father of All... was reflective of the happy, upbeat, "don't give a fuck" energy that I felt back then, and Saviors focuses on the anger and confusion and feeling lost. Which is where I am now. I'm terrified to graduate, honestly. I have no idea what the future is going to hold for me. I'm trying my best to find a job somewhere, and trying to move out and be independent. And this shit's hard as fuck right now.

The world's in shambles and it's only getting worse as we're forced to make sense of it all. And this album helps to put things into perspective. I sure as hell don't feel ready to leave yet, it's like I've only just got here. Pandemic fucked things up, and then I got sick. I feel like I've only been here for two years. But I haven't, and pretty soon I'm going to be entering the "real world" with a degree that I feel like doesn't mean jack shit.

I don't know if anything that I just said made any sense. I know it's just me rambling, but what I'm trying to say is that Saviors is describing exactly the kinds of things I'm thinking and feeling now, just as Father of All... did back then. The timing was pretty perfect on this one.

I just hoping that I can get my shit together before May. The strange days really are here to stay.

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